Run In The Tunnels (xmikecorex) wrote in forwhenitrains,
Run In The Tunnels

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Strangled While Masterbating and Vomiting

At some point tonite i decided that it was my life long dream to sing in a deathmetal band. Total Skinless style death extravaganza. The only problem with that is that i don't take deathmetal seriously at all. To me its a big joke, and i think thats what i like about it so much. I can just sit there and laugh at it. Its the over the top "I'm trying so damn hard to be offensive and gross" attitide that they have that does it. C'mon Cannible Corpse has a song called "I Cum Blood". Thats funny shit.

SO my dream now is to be a 1 man grind/death band. It will be me sitting in a room alone with my drum machine and guitar writing lyrics with names like "Now with 3.5% more decapitations per album" and masterbating. I am sure i will be watching horror movies at some point during all of this and sticking my guitar up my ass to get that "Brutal Death Metal" sound. Hey, its cheaper than a distortion pedal.

Gargle, Grunt, Scream. (song #1)

My legions of fans will all wear designer black t-shirts with my bands logo on them in some unreadable writing complimented by various pictures of demons and gore and dead things.

Step #1: Grow out hair
Step #2: Learn Guitar
Step #3: Program Double-Bass drum beats into the machine
Step #4: Write Lyrics about gross stuff
Step #5: play and vomit on stage

I'm on my way to becomming a super star.

MTV here i cum.
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